Lawmowitis Effectively Shuts Down Region of Bobbington

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE – Effective Immediately, the State of Bobbington has curtailed all activities in the Lower Back community of Lumbar due the first case of Lawnmowitis this year.

Lawnmowitis is a serious condition related to aging hotshots thinking they can just muscle through that overgrown lawn patch on a precarious upslope while wearing questionable footware. Today’s ground Zero event in Lumbar has made Bobbington an epicenter of self-injury ridiculousness.

Officials have called for emergency funding for propulsion control expert repairs – and a beer run. However, the Budget Department for Wasteful Spending, while unanimously agreeing to fund the beer run, has doubted the need for the repairs to the Whirlywhack propulsion system citing the usual “we’ll heal and we’ll deal” approach and the pressing need for War Robots weaponry “level up” digital currency purchases, referring directly to, “the Brazil boys that show up online mid-afternoon and always kick our ass.”  All accounts point to a continued reliance on the #19 Mowtown racecar, a whirlywhack workhorse steeped in glory, but also in years on the summer track.

Meanwhile, lawnwork-distancing and hoist-prevention measures are being adopted state-wide until such time as Bobbington can not be a little bitch and lose a few – or decree from the Queen Wife to unload the car. An FB hotline has already been set up for your generous contribution of sass, up to and including Rick-roll.

At the time of this report, Bobbington was doing all it could to not sweat on the keyboard and locate a non-pre-order, curbside-pickup beer retrieval location.

UPDATE (2hrs): Queen Wife has issued Federal Heat Pad support and will be assisting in beer acquisition. It is unclear if and when Bobbington will be required to unload the car.

UPDATE (1 Week): In a bittersweet moment for Team Anderyard, the beloved #19 car blew itself up today. All novice mechanics on hand tried their best, but ultimately, finding a crack in the carburetor and an unspecified fuel leak, it was decided to retire the warrior princess, jerry-rigged propulsion unit in all. Guy Lawndude, Captain of the Anderyard Racing team said, “She gave us a few great Mowtown circuit wins this season before she finally went down for good.” Ownership has since braved a line at Home Depot, securing a cherry red rookie replacement. “We’ll see what this new kid can do soon.” Lawndude continued. At this time, the rookie was getting her first run, completing the laps left on the track by her fallen predecessor. Paint job forthcoming.

Officials in Bobbington look forward to the upgraded equipment citing recent events in Lower Back.